Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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