Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
