Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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