i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
