Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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