I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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