Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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