So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize