I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
