Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Everyone says I win the strip club
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
