I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
