Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
