why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
