God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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