whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
