Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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