mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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