4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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