I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
soo... how was my night?
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