hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
