no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
