Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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