There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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