i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
