I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
