Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
