So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
