the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
