There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
