I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Randomize
