so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
