I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
