Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
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