My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
