i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
