I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
