Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
My dick has a subreddit
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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