She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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