What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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