I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
