I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
