You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
