I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
