i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize