I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
My underwear smells like fireworks.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
