Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
