I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
