great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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