Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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