is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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