I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
