I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
