Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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