Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
