32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
