Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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