D3 body, D1 cock
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
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