i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
