You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize