It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
