I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
