Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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