oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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