remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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